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I'M DONE with living women. They're so fleshy and warm-blooded and urgh.

So I'm switching to the obvious alternative. Dead women.

I found this awesome ghost website!! Ok so a facebook post (again quickly becoming the source of most of my creepy posts hahaha) I found a picture of this site, for giggles I put it in to find it really does exist! Oct 07, 2013 Spice up your afterlife at GhostSingles.com. Those who wish to join will have to be willing to divulge both their heights (standing and floating), whether they have a “wispy” or more.

For so long, the deceased babes of this world have been inaccessible, locked behind some great, fantastical void of grey nothingness. But thanks to the magic of the interwebs, ghosts are quickly becoming an integral part of the online dating community.

Introducing GhostSingles.com, a dating website where ghosts can meet attractive ghost-lovers like me who are posing as ghosts.

The cornerstone of the site is a state-of-the-art search engine, which not only sorts single ghosts by their gender and age (18 years old to 1000+ years), but lets you choose between people who died horrible, mysterious, tragic or sudden deaths.

Just build a profile, complete with information like your build (wispy, ethereal, cloudy) and how you found the site (seance, fate), and you're released to frolic with the prettiest poltergeists in the universe.

After haunting the site for exactly 13 minutes, I managed to narrow my field of potential partners to four candidates. But I'm having trouble picking just one sexy spectre.

Ghost Signals Watch Dogs 2

Perhaps you could help? I'll list my top four phantoms, and you can tell me which to float away with in the comments section below.

Look at those dreamy eyes in the back seat. Picture: SuppliedSource:Supplied

This 173-year-old, ethereal cougar is a straight talker who doesn't like fake smiles.

'I don't care for having one's visage marred by a perpetual smile, like some fool. That's not to say I'm not happy; the lack of a smile is not always a reliable barometer on one's emotional state.'

She's also a depressed loner who died a horrible death. She doesn't mention the details of said death in her profile, but I could always use the subject to start some interesting banter on our first date.

'In this case, however, it's true: I'm not happy. I've been miserable since the day I died, and I have sought to reconnect with the generations that came after me by appearing to them. In every case, without fail, they react with terror at my approach.'

A spritely young thing at 119, vengefull insists her disposition really isn't that bad.

'Do not be fooled by my moniker; it is a jest. Truly I am among the least vengeful of all my acquaintances.'

Anyone who uses the word 'jest' is a decent chance in my book. Still, I'm not sure I'll hit it off with her friends. That's a point against her.

'My efforts at disturbing the living take only a pittance of my time, and thus I entertain the notion of diversion. If you are likewise minded, I would be delighted to receive word.'

She sounds foxy.

'Would you like to come upstairs and check out the master bedroom?' Picture: SuppliedSource:Supplied

Ghost Single Gate Opener

Her real name is Dorothy. This presents a problem, because I watched The Wizard of Oz that one time and found Dorothy to be incredibly annoying. Still, deadgrrrl seems to have a great personality, if you're into crazy cat ladies. Which of course I am.

'I used to miss my cat until she died. That was like 70 years ago, and then she was fun to have back around. Now she disappears for like a decade at a time, then comes back for a few years. Don't ask me what a dead cat's doing. Hey I thought they had nine lives! lol!!'

Wow, what a winning sense of humour. And Dorothy is so 'with it' for a 94-year-old, using youthful lingo like 'lol'.

This option's a little different, because hauntingeyes is a complete dude. But he's sooooo romantic.

'I love long walks on the stairs at night; staring down at the living while they sleep; randomly clanking the chains which bound me when I was shot for my crimes in life.'

He watches random people while they sleep. Just like Edward Cullen from that Twilight thing. Psycho stalkers are so 'in' these days.

'I haven't felt the temptation to partake of succulent human flesh since my execution for crimes against humanity.'

If the guy has enough willpower to overcome cannibalism, he's good enough for me.

What's the verdict? Name my perfect match in the comments section below, or on Twitter. Just don't tell my girlfriend.

@SamClench @ghostsingles @newscomauHQ

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Dating Sites Free

Ghostsingles.com is a dating website for ghosts. At first I thought it was a dating website for living people who wanted to date ghosts, which made it infinitely sadder, but it's not -- the only option is to sign up for ghost/ghost relationships. So you both have to be dead. And able to use a computer. And, since your fingers can't actually touch a keyboard, you better hope whoever's house you're haunting has speak recognition software that can translate all your f***ing BOOOOOOing. 'But ghosts aren't real.' They sure aren't, which makes this dating website just like every other dating website -- a bunch of people trying to pretend they're something that they're not.

What Does It Mean To Ghost Someone

Thanks to TBTMH, who agrees before you go looking for love on a ghost dating website, please, try a human one first. I'd sleep better at night.